I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
