the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
