508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
