The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
