Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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