I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
