Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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