i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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