This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
