I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
