I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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