my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I supernannyed him into submission
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
