Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
