I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Alive.
So much puke
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
