were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
