i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The cops high fived after they tackled you
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
