Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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