just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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