I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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