I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
