You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
