Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
