considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
