There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
