I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
what day is it and did you see me today?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
