If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
