She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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