you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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