i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
