your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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