When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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