I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we're making bets on your personal life
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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