Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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