I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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