who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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