And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
