I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
