She said her name was "party"
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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