So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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