you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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