it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
