i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
