She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
