He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm bleeding and have questions
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
