I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
