it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize