just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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