Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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