i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
