this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
