just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
