Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I will be naked everywhere
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
