i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
