the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
