one might say we're banned from that church
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
be right there i have to get my cape
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
