You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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