I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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