Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
