you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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