I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
