? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
