Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
