you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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