Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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